Help Your Teen Stay Confident and Healthy Through College Planning

Event Date: October 29, 2026

What do you say when your teen thinks one wrong move will ruin their whole future? You can help take the pressure off.

College and career planning can bring stress and uncertainty for the whole family. Many teens feel they need their future figured out, and fear of one small mistake can fuel anxiety. In this event, BigFuture® and The Jed Foundation shared practical ways to ease that pressure while still helping your teen make thoughtful choices. We covered how to keep the process in perspective, start healthy conversations, and show your teen there are many paths to success.

Watch now to hear what to say and how to support your teen, wherever they are in the process.

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Four Takeaways from Our Experts on BigFuture Live

1. Selectivity Isn't the Goal, Fit Is

"There are ways that you could talk to them about what schools might be a good fit — what do they like to do, what do they enjoy?" – Jessica Orenstein, Senior Director of Programmatic Partnerships at the Jed Foundation

Teens often get swept up chasing well-known schools without stopping to ask whether those schools actually align with their interests and learning style. Low-stakes exploration, like visiting a range of campuses or talking about how a school can support their interests, can help your teen figure out what environment they'll actually thrive in, without turning the junior year into a pressure cooker.

2. Managing Your Own Stress Protects Your Teen from Carrying It Too

"Try your best to manage your own anxiety and stress about all these changes so that you're not spilling it over onto them." – Celeste Birkhofer, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Adjunct Clinical Faculty, Stanford Medical School Department of Psychiatry, and Bestselling Author of Beyond Quick Fixes: Essential Ingredients for Better Mental Health and a Fulfilling Life

When a parent's own worry about the process goes unmanaged, a teen can end up absorbing that anxiety on top of their own. Processing those feelings with a friend, partner, or therapist, rather than in front of the teen, frees parents up to show up calmer and steadier, which ends up being more stabilizing for everyone.

3. Try Open-Ended Questions Before Jumping in to Fix Things

"Respond with empathy first, not judgment, and not rushing in to fix whatever they just told you about." – Celeste Birkhofer

When a teen vents about something stressing them out, the instinct to immediately solve the problem can get in the way of them actually processing the feeling. Listening first, then asking what might help them feel better in the moment, teaches emotional regulation skills they'll keep using long after the conversation ends.

4. A Teen's Brain Isn't Finished Developing, and That Explains a Lot

"If your brain is not fully developed, then those decisions that you have to make feel heavy. They may even feel impossible to make." – Jessica Orenstein

Because the brain's decision-making and planning center doesn't fully mature until around age 25, a choice as big as picking a college can genuinely overwhelm a teen to the point of stalling out. Recognizing that this is a developmental reality, not a character flaw, can shift a parent's role toward guiding a teen through the process rather than expecting them to navigate it alone.

Speakers

Jessica Orenstein, MPH  Senior Director of Programmatic Partnerships, The Jed Foundation  Jessica Orenstein is Senior Director of Programmatic Partnerships at The Jed Foundation (JED). A Behavioral Scientist and Public Health Practitioner, she brings over 15 years of experience as a youth advocate across higher education and public health sectors. In her role, Jessica develops and executes partnerships that extend JED’s school-based programs and resources across education and education technology sectors. She is passionate about advancing promising practices and amplifying youth voices to drive meaningful change.

Dr. Celeste Birkhofer  Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Adjunct Clinical Faculty, Stanford Medical School Department of Psychiatry, and Bestselling Author of Beyond Quick Fixes: Essential Ingredients for Better Mental Health and a Fulfilling Life  Dr. Celeste Birkhofer is a licensed clinical psychologist and adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford Medical School, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. She maintains a private psychotherapy practice, teaches and supervises Stanford psychiatry residents, and is on the clinical advisory board for the Jed Foundation—a nonprofit dedicated to promoting emotional well-being in teens and young adults and reducing suicide risk. Her holistic approach to patient care integrates extensive experience and training in contemporary psychoanalytic and psychodynamic therapies, grief counseling, couples therapy, dialectic behavior therapy (DBT), and mindfulness and self-compassion practices. She is the author of USA Today Bestseller Beyond Quick Fixes: Essential Ingredients for Better Mental Health and A Fulfilling Life. You can learn more about Dr. Birkhofer on her website.