Event Date: September 29, 2026

Many teens overlook a range of potential college options. Many narrow their searches, based on factors like prestige and familiarity. The culture of prestige is real, and it can narrow college options that families consider. In this BigFuture® Live event, author of Dream School and higher education journalist Jeff Selingo shared how to help your teen build a college list that starts with who they actually are. He explained what "fit" means across academics, cost, culture, support, belonging, and career outcomes. He also discussed how to ask better questions without taking over the process entirely.

Watch the recording to learn how to help your teen build a college list based on who they are, not just a name you recognize.

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Key Takeaways

Most Teens Start Out as Passengers in the College Search

"Most students are passengers, right? They're kind of along for the ride… they don't really know what they want to do." – Jeff Selingo

If your teen seems to be along for the ride in the college search, you're not alone. With so many schools to look at, many teens aren't sure what they want yet. Pushing them to take the wheel can backfire. Give them time and keep the pressure low. Try an open question, like "What do you think freshman year would be like?" Or look together at how a school helps first-year students get settled. Small steps help your teen warm up to the search at their own pace.

A Balanced List Beats Chasing One Dream School

"Do what you want to do in high school and then find the college that wants you." – Jeff Selingo

High school is a time to try new things, not to build a case for one admissions office. When a teen is aiming at a single school, they may drop the band, the school play, or a part-time job to add something that "looks right." A balanced list takes that pressure off. With a few reach schools, a few good matches, and a few likely ones, your teen is free to spend their time on what they enjoy, knowing there are great options waiting whichever way it goes. Every school on the list should be one your child would be happy to attend.

A Higher Acceptance Rate Doesn't Mean a Weaker School

"Their acceptance rate keeps going up, but it's nothing to do with the quality of that school." – Jeff Selingo

Students are applying to more schools than ever, but they can only attend one. When fewer admitted students say yes, some colleges admit more of them to fill their seats. That can push acceptance rates up, even though the school itself hasn't changed. A climbing acceptance rate often just reflects how many more places students are applying today, not a decline in the school itself.

On Your Campus Visit, Look for Signs of Connection

"So much of the college experience is around these connections." – Jeff Selingo

You'll learn a lot on a campus visit just by looking around. Picture your teen walking these halls. Do students seem to know each other? Do they stop and talk with their professors? Try asking a student or two how they found their friends and who helped them get settled. Those stories show what the school is really like.

The Best College Is the One That Helps You Grow

"A lot of it matters what you do in college, then where you go." – Jeff Selingo

When your teen applies for jobs, employers care about what they've done, not just where they went. Internships, research with a professor, and campus jobs build real skills and give students something to talk about in interviews. That's why employers hire from a wide mix of colleges. A strong alumni network might get you in the door, but it's the experience a student builds along the way that gets them hired.

Additional Resources

• Download the Future Planning Guide for Parents, Mentors, and Families
• Get the book Dream School: Finding the College That's Right For You by Jeff Selingo to learn about thinking more broadly about what signals a "good" college and then the tools to discover their dream school.
• Subscribe to Jeff Selingo's newsletter Next to continue to explore more information around college exploration and career planning.

Speaker

Jeff Selingo Author, Dream School: Finding the College That's Right For You Jeff Selingo has written about colleges and universities for more than 25 years and is a New York Times bestselling author of four books. His latest, Dream School: Finding the College That's Right for You (September 2025), draws on more than two years of research and a survey of some 3,000 parents to give families permission to think more broadly about what signals a "good" college and then the tools to discover their dream school. He is also the author of Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, named one of the New York Times's 100 Notable Books of the Year in 2020. A regular contributor to The Atlantic, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal, Jeff is a special advisor to the president and professor of practice at Arizona State University. He writes the biweekly newsletter Next and co-hosts the podcast Future U. He lives near Washington, D.C., with his family.

Event Date: September 16, 2026

Understanding your teen's skills, interests, and strengths is more than a nice-to-have. It's what helps them set goals and uncover relevant college and career options. In the BigFuture® Live event "Help Your Teen Build Skills That Matter Most," Ellen Galinsky, President of the Families and Work Institute, shared how parents can help teens reflect on their strengths, build skills, and connect coursework, activities, and experiences to future opportunities—without pressuring them to have it all figured out. Dan Gonzalez, Executive Director & General Manager of Teamship at College Board; Kenton Gardinier, Co-founder of Givefinity; and Marcy Boyd, Teacher at York High School, NY, weighed in with inspiring answers in during the Q&A.

Watch now for practical ways to help your teen build confidence and see new possibilities, without pressure to have it all figured out.

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4 Takeaways from Our Experts on BigFuture® Live

1. Growth Mindset Turns Setbacks Into Fuel for Growth

"It's not just avoiding a challenge, it's leaning into it… it's seeing a difficulty as a challenge, seeing it as a challenge, not just a threat." – Ellen Galinsky, Families and Work Institute

How teens interpret setbacks matters as much as the setbacks themselves. Framing a difficulty as something they can work through, rather than a sign they're not good enough, is strongly linked to better mental health and resilience. Parents can model this by asking "what did you learn?" or "what would you try differently?" instead of focusing only on the outcome.

2. Human Skills Matter More Than Ever in an AI World

"All problems are human problems… we're going to need teams of human beings to solve human problems." – Dan Gonzalez, College Board

Even as AI reshapes the job market, employer surveys consistently rank teamwork, problem-solving, and communication above technical skills. Seeking out group projects, team sports, or collaborative volunteer opportunities gives teens real practice with the skills employers say matter most.

3. Every Class and Experience Teaches Something Useful

"Every class that you take is a lesson for your future and nothing is a waste of your time." – Marcy Boyd, York High School

Trying a wide range of classes and activities, even the ones that don't turn into a lasting interest, helps teens rule things out and narrow down what actually fits them. That process of elimination is just as valuable as finding the "right" passion early on.

4. Reflection Turns Experience Into Real Skill-Building

"It's important… you're not just looking at it as a transaction, but really trying to establish what you're learning." – Kenton Gardinier, Givefinity

Volunteering, internships, and part-time jobs naturally build skills like leadership, project management, and empathy. Encouraging teens to pause and reflect on what they're gaining, rather than treating the experience as just a line on a resume, helps them recognize and articulate that growth so they can carry it forward.

Additional Resources

• Download the Future Planning Guide for Parents, Mentors, and Families
• Register for upcoming BigFuture Live Events.
• Find actionable ways to help your teen strengthen skills to achieve their career and education goals.
• Learn more about how collaborative problem-solving and a deep understanding of your teen's core needs can build the essential life skills they need for positive growth in Ellen Galinsky's book "The Breakthrough Years."
• Join Open Doors. Help your teen take one step toward opportunity. Unlock free, ready-to-use resources across AP access, college and career exploration, college affordability, and student recognition.

Speakers

	Ellen Galinsky President of Families and Work Institute, Author of "The Breakthrough Years" Ellen Galinsky is President of Families and Work Institute and serves as senior research advisor to AASA, the School Superintendents Association. She was the co-lead of the October 2025 AASA Summit, Real Skills for Real Life, and is currently piloting modules she created on Real Skills for nationwide distribution to school districts. She's also partnering with John Hopkins International Arts + Mind Lab on the Youth Voice on Arts and Thriving project. Previous jobs include Chief Science Officer at the Bezos Family Foundation and faculty at Bank Street College. She was one of the key founders of the work-life field and was elected president of the Work and Family Researchers Network (2022–2026), which gave her a lifetime achievement award in 2022 and established an award in her name in 2018. She's also the author of the best-selling Mind in the Making on early learning. Her new book on adolescence, the award-winning The Breakthrough Years was called a "masterpiece" by Dr. Dan Siegel. She's the author of 90 books/research reports and 360 articles for books, journals, magazines, and the Web. Ellen Galinsky was the parent expert on Mister Rogers Talks With Parents TV series and was an elected president of NAEYC.
	Dan Gonzalez Executive Director & General Manager, Teamship Dan Gonzalez is General Manager of Teamship at College Board. He previously co-founded and served as CEO of District C, which created Teamship — a reimagined internship where teams of students solve real problems for real businesses. District C was acquired by College Board in early 2026. Since Teamship's launch, more than 12,000 students have worked with over 800 businesses across the country. Before District C, Dan studied engineering at Dartmouth College, taught high school physics, and later became president of Manhattan Prep, a national leader in test preparation, shortly after the company joined Kaplan.
	Kenton Gardinier Co-founder, Givefinity Kenton Gardinier is the co-founder of Givefinity, an AI-powered platform helping people turn volunteer service into a meaningful record of their experiences, skills, and impact. With more than 25 years of experience, Kenton focuses on growth and product strategy and is passionate about helping young people recognize how service builds real-world skills and creates stronger pathways to education, careers, and community impact.
	Marcy Boyd Teacher, York High School, NY Marcy Boyd is a career educator and educational consultant with degrees in Mathematics, Computer Science, Cybersecurity, and Animal Science. She currently teaches in western New York, where her courses include Math, AP Computer Science Principles, AP Cybersecurity, and AP Networking. Marcy is the mother of four adult children. "You don't know what you don't know," Marcy says. "Take that chance. Draw on your interests, strengths, and skills to further your learning." She believes every subject you try teaches you something — what you love, what you don't, and how that shapes your next decision.

Event Date: August 26, 2026

The PSAT™/NMSQT® is more than a test. It's an opportunity to build that picture. We walked through free College Board resources and simple ways to support preparation at home, and showed how your teen can use their scores through the BigFuture® School Mobile App to connect their academic strengths to college and career options. 

Watch now for practical next steps to help your teen feel ready, without adding pressure.

Key Takeaways

1. Preparation Doesn't Have to Be Expensive

"There are excellent research-based resources available at no cost." – Erin Carlson, Sandusky High School

Free, research-based tools can help your teen build skills and confidence before test day. College Board offers free practice tests your teen can use anytime to get familiar with the format and ease some of that pre-test stress.

2. One Test, Two Purposes in Junior Year

"It is still a PSAT... but it also serves as the National Merit Scholarship qualifying test." – Dixie Ross, Texas Public Schools

The PSAT™ 10 and PSAT/NMSQT (Preliminary SAT/National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test) are the same exam. You can take it in 10th or 11th grade, but only junior-year scores count toward the National Merit™ Scholarship Program. Take it as a sophomore for practice under real test conditions and to spot weak areas. Take it as a junior for the same reasons — plus National Merit eligibility.

3. Let Your Teen Drive Their Own Prep

"Allowing students some choice and agency in the process can be very helpful." – Angela Pitkonen, Redan High School

Anxiety often comes from feeling like test prep is being done to them instead of by them. Let your teen pick how they study, whether that's an app, a study group, or a few practice sections a week. A little ownership can turn dread into confidence.

4. The Score Report Is a Launchpad, Not Just a Number

"The score report is more than just a number... it's going to provide a detailed picture of the student's strengths, areas for growth and then readiness for college level work." – Erin Carlson, Sandusky High School

Remind your teen the score report is more than a grade. It breaks down strengths, areas to grow, and how ready they are for college-level work — turning one test into a real planning tool. That kind of insight can guide course choices and career exploration long after test day.

Speakers:

	Erin Carlson  English Teacher, Sandusky High School, Michigan Erin Carlson is a wife and the mother of three children: Matt (23), David (18), and Rachel (15). She teaches high school English at Sandusky Jr./Sr. High School.  In her spare time you will find her teaching cooking classes for teens at the local library, volunteering, reading, or baking.
	Dixie Ross  Math Teacher, Concordia High School, Texas  Dixie Ross has taught mathematics in Texas public schools for over forty years. She is a National Board Certified Teacher in Adolescent and Young Adulthood Mathematics and was a Presidential Awardee for Excellence in Mathematics and Science Teaching. Based on her own experience with the PSAT, she has been passionate for her entire career about preparing students effectively for standardized tests and helping students to access the options and opportunities those provide.
	Angela Williams Pitkonen  AP World History Teacher, Redan High School and AP U.S Government and Politics Virtual Instructor, Georgia Virtual School, Georgia Angela Williams Pitkonen is currently in her 28th year as an educator, with an M.Ed. in Teacher Leadership. As an Education Consultant, she has facilitated Advanced Placement Summer Institute (APSI) for World History and PBL World History. She has been an Education Ambassador for the College Board for over 8 years. She is also a reader for the AP World History Modern exam, and she participated in the College Board Project Based Learning (PBL) pilot.

Key Takeaways from Authors: Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop:

Why engagement matters
Engagement helps teens build confidence, resilience, curiosity, and ownership over their learning. Understanding your teen is the first step toward helping them become more engaged and can improve both their learning and their well-being. Disengaged Teen co-authors Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop identify four modes of learning that students use to navigate the academic and social demands of high school and beyond. 

The Disengaged Teen Book 
The Disengaged Teen for Parents

Resister mode
In Resister mode, disengagement is visible. Teens may push back, shut down, avoid work, or reject school altogether. This behavior often signals frustration, discouragement, or disconnection rather than simple defiance. 

What to do when your teen is in Resister mode: Jenny and Rebecca suggest that when your teen is in resister mode, treat their behavior as a signal that something isn’t working rather than simple defiance. Stay calm, get curious, and acknowledge what they’re feeling before trying to fix anything. Giving space can help de-escalate the moment and keep things from becoming a power struggle. Avoid lectures, nagging, ultimatums, or jumping straight into solutions, which can intensify resistance instead of resolving it. 

Passenger mode
In Passenger mode, teens do what is asked but remain emotionally detached. They may seem fine on the surface, yet they are mainly going through the motions. These students often need help connecting school to their interests, goals, and sense of purpose.  

What to do when your teen is in Passenger mode: In passenger mode, your teen may be going through the motions without real engagement, so the goal is to gently reintroduce ownership. The authors advise that you offer small choices, ask for their perspective, and connect tasks to a sense of purpose or relevance. Light check-ins work better than pressure to keep them moving. Avoid over-directing, doing everything for them, or labeling them as lazy, which can reinforce disengagement. 

Achiever mode
In Achiever mode, teens perform at a high level but are often driven by pressure rather than genuine engagement. They may look successful while struggling with stress, perfectionism, or fear of failure. Strong outcomes do not always mean a student feels connected to learning. 

What to do when your teen is in Achiever mode: When your teen is in achiever mode, they may be highly driven but also at risk of stress or burnout. Jenny and Rebecca suggest that you focus on praising effort rather than just outcomes and encourage balance alongside their goals. It’s important to broaden their sense of success beyond constant performance. Avoid reinforcing perfectionism or treating this as the only “good” mode, as that can increase pressure over time. 

Explorer mode
Explorer mode reflects deep, healthy engagement. Teens are motivated by curiosity, purpose, and a desire to learn. This is the mode where students develop the confidence and agency to take ownership of their growth.  

What to do when your teen is in Explorer mode: Explorer mode is when your teen is curious and open to trying new things, and it’s important to protect that space. The authors advise that you support their interests without attaching immediate expectations and allow room for trial and error. Keeping some time unstructured helps sustain this kind of growth and motivation. Avoid overscheduling or pushing for quick results, which can shut down their natural curiosity. 

Key Takeaways: 

1. Consistency Matters More Than Perfection. 
   “Start with that one system that works for them… that consistency is really, really helpful.” – Angie Strong, Spring Valley High School 
2. Support Independence Gradually. 
   “We’re developing humans… starting small where you’re providing that support but then scaffold it back.” – Dr. Cynthia Martinez, San Antonio ISD 
3. Start Small to Build Lasting Habits. 
   “It can be just 10 to 15 minutes once a week to look ahead.” – Beth Oesterman, Lodi High School 
4. Organization Goes Beyond Planners. 
   “Organizing your thoughts and taking notes… will help and go a long way in college and in life.” – Nancy Nauman, Visalia USD 

Key Takeways:

•  Focus on Student Fit, Not Selling.
• “Your job isn’t really to sell the school or say no… you’re teasing out of your student what excited them.” – Patricia Peek, Fordham University
•  Approach Visits Like Research, Not Just Tours.
• “Think of this not just as a tour, but as field research… you want to be a journalist… observe, verify, and collect your data.” – Dr. Cynthia Colón, Destination YOUniversity
•  Compare Schools to Clarify What Matters.
• “Go back to your notes and start to look at the things that these schools have in common or don’t have in common.” – Emma Adebayo, University of Wisconsin–Madison
•  Explore Beyond Campus to Get the Full Picture.
• “You won’t only be on that campus… spend some time around that town.” – Rebecca Donovan, University of Kentucky

Key Takeaways:

1. Build AP Plans with Purpose, Not Pressure.
   “Strong AP plans are intentional. They aren't built around numbers; they’re built around alignment.” – Claire Lorenz, College Board
2.  Balance Passion with a Well-Rounded Schedule.
   “We want them to surge forward in those areas where they really do have a passion… and provide balance across the full scope of their curriculum.” – Carrie Poehlein, Park Tudor School
3.  Let Interest Guide Course Selection.
   “Encourage your student to look at courses they’re interested in… You may find a course that you didn’t think you would be good at, but after you took the course, you realized because of that interest you succeeded.” – Chandra Webb, KIPP Antioch Global High School
4.  Embrace Challenge with Commitment to Growth.
   “Go for the challenge as long as you are interested and ready to commit to trying... what that shows is a willingness to learn.” – Laurie McDonald, Atlantic Coast High School

Key Takeaways:

1.  Focus on Net Price, Not Sticker Price.
   “The vast majority of families do not pay the sticker price." Focus on the net price after grants and scholarship before ruling a school out. – Jill Glaze, Bunker Hill Community College
2.  Use Cost Calculators Early and Often.
   “Don’t guess.” Use each college’s calculator early to estimate what your family might actually pay. – Kelly Nehring, University of San Diego
3.  Stay Organized to Protect Your Aid Eligibility.
   Missing FAFSA or CSS Profile deadlines “can definitely reduce your eligibility,” Staying organized matters. – Kelly Nehring, University of San Diego
4.  Compare Financial Aid Offers Carefully.
   “Make sure you’re comparing apples to apples.” Review grants vs. loans and evaluate each cost line by line before making a decision. – Lisa Berian, Spelman College